27. March 2010 by admin.

Can I say that I hate the anger being directed at our politicians in Washington?  How dare these people vent with the hatred and vitriol they have shown, and without regard even to political party!  This is an undirected and misdirected venting that serves no purpose and actually highlights the ignorance and stupidity of the people doing the venting.

Let’s begin with the fact that the people making these decisions in Washington were duly elected by the majority of the voters to represent us in making the laws that govern this nation.  If these people disagree with the decisions of the politicians, they have the right to vote them out of office in the next election.  But to threaten them?  I bet they didn’t even vote in the last election.

And then there was the homemade sign in the back of a BMW 740iL parked next to me at the grocery store this afternoon.  One Big Ass Mistake America.  Oh, funny, taking the name of the President and turning it into a comment.  Let’s see, would that have made him Big Ugly Stupid Hick?  Hey we can all play that game.  But does it serve any purpose?  Once again, venting by attacking the people who were duly elected by the majority of the nation.  Huh.

Does anyone think anymore?  Or is it all just knee-jerk reaction, hatred, vitriol, and stupidity by people upset that their viewpoint lost in the last election.  You know what?  Get over it.  You lost and we won and now it’s your turn to sit and watch as the nation heads in a direction you don’t like.  I happen to think that we are heading in the right direction…well, our politicians are, some of our people are definitely heading in the wrong direction.  Wonder if they happen to be Republicans or used-to-be-Republicans-but-they-were-too-liberal-Tea-Partiers.  Huh.

Let’s get back to honest and open dialog with an understanding that the loser has to accept reality and not attack those who represent us in government.  Debate, I can work with.  Hate hurts everyone.

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23. March 2010 by admin.

Well, the landmark legislation has been passed and is being signed by the President today.  I, for one, am looking forward to a time when I won’t be denied coverage because I now have a pre-existing condition.  And I do hope to change jobs in the future and I don’t want to be afraid of losing my insurance as a result.  If people would just look at the provisions of the bill, they would see that it is a major step in the right direction.

Oh, and to those who decry its cost, where were you when the previous administration was spending $1 billion a day on an unnecessary war and to pad the pocketbooks of their profiteering cronies with no-bid contracts?  Besides, you do realize that we already pay this price in a hidden manner through higher costs for healthcare, don’t you?  Oh, right, remember who I am talking to.  Never mind, the money magically appears.

And to those who claim the Federal government can’t make you do anything, remember that they already regulate most everything so they have a means of doing it if they choose to.  Health care is a societal cost and its about damn time we benefit from our spending!  I am glad we’ve made it happen in my lifetime!

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22. March 2010 by admin.

I have to apologize for not being around so much lately.  Things have been…well, I’ll let you decide.

My partner and I decided in May to go looking for a house.  We were living in his quaint little two bedroom bungalow for a couple of years now and while things were fine, a majority of my stuff remained in storage as a result of the space issues.  A little bit of research and a couple of visits and he and I signed a contract to have a house built in one of the southern suburbs of Denver.  The primary draw (aside from the fact that we went from 800 square feet to 1935 square feet) was that his work is about 10 minutes away.  For me, the commute was longer but almost entirely via train so a longer commute with less hassles.

Anyway, so we checked out the community and came to a remarkable conclusion: we could get everything we wanted and didn’t have to sell his house first!  That made things easier because selling his place would have been difficult.  Still is.  But we have someone who will rent from us and help fix the place up in lieu of some rent.  Nice!

The requirements were pretty simple: no rear neighbors (that was mine), a laundry on the second floor (his request) and an open floor plan with three bedrooms.  We ended up with a three bedroom plan on an end lot with just one neighbor that had a separate office, the upstairs laundry and a five piece master bath and nice sized walk-in closet.  Nice!  But it got better.  The day after we signed the contract, they dropped the prices on most of the options for the place.  They also gave us a $10K discount on the price as well as 3% toward the closing costs and then there was that wonderful $8,000 tax credit from the government.  Oy!

So, with the drop in option prices, we got the whole house vacuum as well as speakers throughout the space (living room, kitchen, master bedroom and master bath), pre-wire for both security and an A/C unit (we decided to get our own), full 9’ ceilings in the basement, garage door opener and insulated garage, and we had the place painted inside.  This was on top of the high end gas appliances in the kitchen.  Tile in the kitchen/dining/and entry spaces, tile in the upstairs bathrooms and laundry, and a nice carpet throughout the rest of the floors makes the space really nice. 

Because we got the end lot, we were required to get a side entrance which made the place work even better than originally designed and we got extra windows in the garage as well as more landscaping than the average homeowner.  Very cool!  So we had the place built starting in July and moved in at the end of October.

But that’s not all, folks.  You see, while the house was being built and we were all excited about moving and sharing our lives together in the new space, things were conspiring behind the scenes to make things more complex.  At the end of July I had a regular doctor’s appointment where my cholesterol and blood sugar and all the other numbers from the tests were good or normal and things seemed to be pretty typical.  But I had a swollen tonsil and asked my doctor to take a look at it.

I was diagnosed with Stage IIIB squamous cell cancer of the throat and neck.  It had started in my tonsil but apparently grown out to my left lymph node.  Had we not caught it when we did, it would have spread pretty quickly through the lymph system and that would not have been good.

So, I began treatment for the cancer in September with a rather aggressive chemotherapy plan that hit me hard for a week, gave me a couple weeks off and then hit me again.  This was repeated a third time before I started my daily radiation treatments.  The first week of chemo was very difficult but somehow my body worked it out and the second and third weeks were not as bad for side effects.  I was done in time to have some Thanksgiving turkey.

The radiation was the most difficult.  First there was this mask.  It locks your head into place so you don’t move around while the radiation is being given to you.  I discovered a profound problem with claustrophobia which I was able to fight off without the need for daily doses of valium by repeating a mantra which kept me from going too crazy: “I can rip this mask off any time I want.”  It was true too although I never had to test that theory, thankfully!  So, for 35 treatments (Monday through Friday excluding holidays) I went into the cancer center and got zapped for 15-20 minutes at a time.

No, I did not lose my hair entirely, it did go thin and we shaved it down a bit but I only “lost” it in a band along my neck where the radiation came across.  I also will never be able to grow a beard (not that my Scandinavian heritage helped me much there anyway) and oral surgery will have to be a carefully chosen option since that was the primary focus area.  Sigh.  But, for the most part, things went well.

It was funny.  My Mom came out in mid-December to “help out” and be a mother but where she thought to find an invalid with a feeding tube and no strength, I was actually able to drive up until the last treatment in January and still never hit the “bad” side effects until after the treatments were over.  Sure, I lost my sense of taste (which has only recently started coming back) and the fatigue did keep me from working for a couple of months, but overall, I was a remarkable overachiever.  My doctors are amazed.  I am pleased I didn’t have to go through the things they were saying I would.  So, although she stayed for several weeks, my Mom did leave shortly after the new year.  She was a little disappointed that I didn’t “need” her like she thought.

My Dad and brother then came for a visit and, by lucky happenstance, as a result of a low red blood cell count, I had to miss one day of treatment which placed my last day on Martin Luther King day, their second day visiting.  So they got to meet everyone I was dealing with and got to see how the radiation went before we spent the rest of the week mostly relaxing and not doing much.  It was good to see them.

So, the recovery continues.  I have been back to work for about a month now and while many of the side effects remain, they are nowhere near as bad as people expected.  I am tasting food again, although mainly sour stuff.  I love pickles so that’s a good thing!  My weight has not quite rebounded yet.  I lost 50 pounds in total and have gained back about 10-15 of it.  I want to get another 20 pounds or so, mainly to feel more…er…comfortable, with myself.  I do not want to go out and buy all new clothes, that’s for sure.

The fatigue is not as bad as it has been although I do not do full 8 hour days yet.  I get in around 8:30ish and leave about 3:30 right now.  If I feel tired, I lay down on my sofa in my office but overall, I am feeling like this exercise was worth it.  You see, the results came back and I am officially cancer-free.  <grin>  YES!  In a remarkable twist of irony, the coach of the Denver Nuggets basketball team announced he had the same cancer I did (on the other side of the throat from me) on the day I found out I was clean.  Sigh!  So he gets all the attention.  But I am happy, regardless.

So, there you have it.  It’s been a busy few months so I apologize for not contributing more here.  But I am in a feisty mood and things seem to be warranting a lot more commentary of late.  So, look for more entries coming soon.  And thanks for being patient!

Rob

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16. December 2008 by admin.

With Proposition 8 succeeding in the polls and the majority imposing their will on the minority (not exactly the founding principle of this nation) it’s time to really look at the issue from a rational and considered viewpoint.  Or mine, in this case.

First, marriage is not a religious creation, it is a social convention that was created to define relationships between families.  While the modern view in the US relies heavily on religious overtones, it is not the only way to see it.  Consider that there are three forms of “marriage.”  The first is actually a legal and social form which is really the version that most same sex couples want.  It does not require religion in any form.  All we need is a couple of signatures on a piece of paper and the government recognizes that two individuals have entered into a relationship.  This is where those rights and responsibilities accrue that form the basis for the desire of same sex couples to marry.  We want those 1000 rights that we would have if we were allowed to marry.  The tax benefits, inheritance, medical decisions, parenting rights, and everything else.

Then comes the second form: religious marriage.  The problem for most people is that they ignore the civil elements of marriage and concentrate solely on the religious elements.  Well, you don’t have to be religious to marry.  In many countries, the only marriage that counts is the civil one.  Here in the US we have given way to the idea that a religious ceremony counts just like the civil one and, in fact, trumps it.  But marriage is not something that requires religion, otherwise it should be denied to athiests and agnostics and those who have left the church.  No, just like divorce is a civil action (frowned upon by many religions) the marriage that preceeded it should also be nothing more than a civil event.

The fact is that when the religious folks spout off about marriage being a sacrament and should be limited to one man and one woman, they are referring only to those ceremonies practiced under their religion.  In fact, there are a number of religions that DO recognize same sex marriage and even celebrate these ceremonies.  So, same sex marriage can even be religious in nature.  The problem is that those specific religions where it is not allowed are forcing their beliefs on the rest of society and not allowing for any other kind of marriage.

This is where I get to have fun with the Christian crowd because they are the ones pushing the one man-one woman marriage deal.  You see, marriage is not the June and Ward Cleaver relationship that many people think it “should” be.  It is something that was created centuries ago and has changed throughout history.  It is not this immutable sacrament that came down from God.  No, the Catholilc church co-opted marriage (as it has so many things) by making it a requirement for recognition of any relationship.  When the church’s power grew, marriage under the steeple became a requirement, not the option it used to be.

And let’s talk about marriage.  The bible has men marrying their sisters, polygamy was the norm and the woman was subjugated in the relationship.  Why did women change their last names when marrying their husbands?  To denote the change in ownership from their father to their husband.  Some faiths refuse to recognize marriage outside their sects and until just recently (in historical terms) mixed marriages were not allowed.  This furthers my contention that marriage is a social convention that just happens to have a religious element to it.  Remember dowries?  Those were bribes from those families unfortunate enough to have female children to the families of the fortunate ones with male children to try and get rid of the girl.  Is this the ideal of marriage those religious proponents are trying to “savor?”

They claim that same sex marriage “destroys” the institution.  No, infidelity, divorce, and abuse destroy the institution of marriage.  And you can’t tell me that the clergy don’t look the other way when important people want to get rid of a spouse.  The number of “annulments”  given out by the church don’t entirely coincide with the concept of one man-one woman forever.  I would suggest that because divorce is civil (you know what I mean) then marriage should be civil as well.  That would alleviate the fear that the clergy have of being “forced” to marry same sex couples in their churches.  Now why would we want to go into a place that doesn’t welcome us?  Especially on that day!??

So, there it is.  Take religion out of marriage and grant everyone the same civil rights under marriage.  Allow the religions to marry as they see fit (including those who allow same sex marriages) but don’t grant any civil rights as a result to ensure that everyone is treated equally.  And let me marry the man I want to spend the rest of my life with so we can be just as happy and miserable as every other heterosexual couple out there, as our relationship becomes.

Posted in Gay, Religion, Politics | No Comments »

16. December 2008 by admin.

If one more person sends me a “reminder” that “Jesus is the reason for the season” I will fire off a snarky diatribe that will hopefully embarrass them and stop their nasty intrusions into my celebration of the holiday.  No, wait, let me just link them here and give them a little dose of “The Truth.”

Let’s begin with the most obvious reason that this is not a celebration of Jesus’ birthday.  Religious scholars all agree that Jesus was born sometime in the Spring.  Every effort to put a real date on this event has been difficult with the counting of calendars, but the fact remains that there was no baby in a manger in December who was the son of God.  Rather, it was the early efforts of the fledgling Catholic Church which struggled to gain members that “created Christmas”, at least in December.  No, the church leaders hijacked the pagan traditions of the Winter Solstice, wove in a few mystic traditions from Egypt, and, voila, Christmas was created.

Now, if you were to come to me with a celebration of religious welcoming, then I might have a different view.  And while I agree that the season has become far too commercial, there is a value in the entire season that cannot be underestimated.  As long as you view this holiday season as a reason to be good, to recognize others, to reach out to those less fortunate, and to celebrate your relationships with others (which, by the way, does include God) then I’m all for you.  But if all you want to do is try to monopolize the month by claiming that Jesus is the “reason for the season” then I will shut you down and tune you out.  It is simply NOT TRUE!  Face facts, your religion co-opted a pagan event in order to draw more followers, not to celebrate an actual event.

However, there is always something special about Christmas.  My Grandmother was the holiday queen and she made sure that the entire season was wonderful, from Thanksgiving through Christmas, the entire extended family (6 kids and spouses/boy-, girlfriends; 12 grandkids and their assorted spouses and friends; and at least a few greatgrandkids before she passed) would get together in some combination to celebrate.  And she always made sure that the grandkids had plenty of presents under the tree.  After college I joined the adults in the gift exchange (cause there were just too many people to buy for!) and even today there is a recognition that the season is special.   My Mom and her brothers and sisters still get together with the many cousins and their spouses and kids.

Last year, I took my partner home with me for Christmas and he got to see what the season is about.  No matter the drama that inevitably played itself out at the event, we are truly a family and this was a chance to celebrate that fact.  It was interesting because, as is usual with my family, he was accepted almost immediately and wasn’t entirely sure how to handle it.  But when he held my hand, no one commented, and we even got to enjoy dinner with one aunt and uncle and their gay associate pastor.  That was pretty cool because he and my partner got into a bit of a debate which was a bit of a highlight for me.

So there you have it.  The season deserves the credit for the feelings that we have, the things that we do, and the relationships that we reinvigorate and cement.  It’s nice that the Christians celebrate the birth of Christ a few months early, but don’t dare try to monopolize this time for your own purposes.  This holiday season is for everyone.

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5. September 2008 by admin.

Well, the Democratic National Convention was here in town (Denver) and we just finished with the Republican National Convention in the state where my brother and his wife live (Minnesota) so this has been an interesting connection with my family this year.  But now that they are done, I have to comment on them.

First, it is apparent who the party in power is because of the level of rancor of the protesters at the RNC.  There was a lot of anger and frustration vented in St. Paul.  And yet the people in the Xcel Energy center remain, in my view, out of touch with the common people.  I mean, really!  He owns seven houses and thinks middle class ends in the millions.  (Yes, I know he was jokingly unsure when he gave the figure)  And his pit bitch VP?  She is vicious and mean and vile, the epitome of bitch, and somehow a true representation of the party.  I mean, just look at the speeches by the two parties.  The Republicans seem to know all about the plans and future actions of the Democrats since they kept telling us what would happen.

 - A slight aside, there is a political ad on TV right now that tells you what the Democrats will do including deficit spending, higher taxes, etc.  History proves that the last balanced budget with a surplus was created by a Democrat and destroyed by a Republican…um, please get your facts straight before you try to spout them.

Anyway, the Democrats tended to be a bit more positive in their spin of things, not telling us what the Republicans will do, but what they will do when they get into the White House.  Mind you, they are not absolved of the vitriol and hate mongering, they just tended to focus more on their own agenda instead.  And I guess that’s one of the things that really toasts my buns about the political process is that candidates are so afraid of standing for something that they turn to denigrating their opponents instead.

Well, let me be clear that in my view, people who tear down their opponents are cowards and obviously don’t have any principles on which to stand.  Because people who don’t stand for anything will fall for anything.  Ok, so I stole that one from somewhere.  But it holds true.  If the only way for you to rise above your opponents is to tear them down, then maybe you aren’t worth electing.

Back to the rant, while I appreciate the efforts of John McCain to try and protray himself as a maverick and reformer, my problem is that he left that camp a number of years ago.  When I lived in Arizona and he was my senator, I loved his style and approach, but he gave that up in an effort at appealing to the “masses” and since about 1998ish he has watered down his beliefs.  He’s had 26 years to make changes and while he did try for some 18 years, he lost it before the millenium.  For that, I will have to disbelieve him.

And that’s why he brought Sarah Palin to the ticket.  Oh, believe me, I understand his tactics (and anyone who thinks this is anything other than tactics needs to drink from the fountain of reality) and I even made a comment to my staff the night before the announcement that McCain’s best choice would be a woman for his VP.  If course, I was thinking that it would be someone with a little more name recognition, but there you have it.  However, making her the attack dog for the campaign?  There is a difference between a strong woman and a bitch.  Sarah Palin is a bitch.  Hillary Clinton is a strong woman (most of the time, she had her bitchy moments) so the thought that the Republicans are actually gaining women?  Not the ones who see the hate for what it is.

Joe Biden?  He was the wrong choice as well.  I admire Barack Obama’s campaign for the message they are getting out and the fact that they tend to maintain their positive message more than their counterparts.  But a Senatorial veteran like Biden?  No, Obama had the chance for the dream team and I think he made the wrong choice for the wrong reasons.  In this case, I believe that he is afraid of Hillary and her power.  He had the message, she has the experience, and together they would have been very strong.  And, I bet that McCain would have gone with one of his white male compatriots instead of the Alaskan Mala-not-so-mute.

And here’s one particular rant that the Republicans really have to get right if they ever figure to recover their standing as the party of Lincoln: 93% of the delegates were white?  Ok, if you do not have your delegates representative of the country as a whole?  No wonder you don’t get it.  And 1/2 the delegates had a net worth in excess of $1/2 million.  Damn.  Middle class is basically $35,000 to $80,000, according to the local paper.  Even if we stretch that to $250,000 a year in income (which is 3 times the top of the range) those who “represent” the Republican voters of this nation are NOT representative of this country. 

Ok, so that was a rant, but I truly am angry with the political process in this country.  The two party system doesn’t allow us to truly express our beliefs since the “big tent” or “party umbrella” has to cover far too many people.  While I don’t think the multi-party system always works (see, Italy) it does force people to choose their philosophies and stand for something.  I see the German political process as a successful process for standing for something.  The best part of this is that while you tend to fragment into blocs based on your personal beliefs, the only way to make a government is to compromise.  You develop alliances and work out compromises to get a government together meaning that strength comes from your beliefs and alliances.

Ok, off the soapbox.  This year I am remaining with the Democrats although I vote for the best candidate regardless of party.  I voted for Reagan because he was the best candidate.  I did not vote for Bush, either time and feel smug enough to laugh at people who did.  You get what you vote for and this year, I am definitely voting for change.  The risks of change are much less than knowing what you are getting.  And I think everyone knows what we would get.

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11. April 2008 by admin.

It just gets better and better. Ms. Kern is not only a coward and a hypocrite, she is an out-and-out liar as well.

Apparently she met with the fine folks from PFLAG and during the course of their talks, Ms. Kern stated that she agreed with the idea that gay men and women should not be fired from their jobs because they are gay. (We are worse than terrorists but shouldn’t be fired because of it?) She said this twice in the conversation. But when she went back out into public, she denied ever saying anything of the kind! She claimed that PFLAG had “misrepresented” her comments.

In a delicious twist or irony, her perjury came to light quickly when PFLAG released the recordings of the conversation they had with her (and which was recorded with the consent of her staff!) where you can hear Ms. Kern say, in her own words, that she believes gays should not be fired from their jobs. Oy! So what we have here is not a failure to communicate but an appalling lack of brains from an individual who 1) cannot think for herself and therefore mimics words she hears in her church and 2) tailors her conversation to the audience even when it means she says two things that are complete opposites. So, does that make her a liar, or just a very good politician? Well, neither. A good politician wouldn’t be caught lying.

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21. March 2008 by admin.

Everyone should have heard of Sally Kern by now.  She’s that republican lawmaker from Oklahoma who was caught on tape comparing homosexuality to terrorism and saying that we are more of a threat to America than Al-Quaeda.  Uh huh.  Well, I was going to stay out of the fray considering that so many more eloquent people have spoken and written about this incident.  But then she goes and does something that gets to the very core of what I despise about people these days.

Ellen DeGeneres called her up to talk to her about her views and she refused to open the conversation.  Why?  She said she doesn’t want to walk into the lion’s den.  Um, hello?  Did you just say that you are afraid to defend your position?  Are you telling me that you made these statements but don’t believe in them enough to justify them to others?  You hypocritical coward!  This is exactly why I don’t believe politicians and people in general.  If you are not willing to defend your positions then shut up.  You don’t have the convictions of your beliefs then don’t tell me what they are!

I will challenge anyone in their beliefs because it is only by challenging our own beliefs that we strengthen them.  I mean, come on, if your belief system can’t handle a challenge then why do you believe in it?  Convenience?  Inertia?  I know that most people who believe in a religion came by it because someone “gave” it to them.  Very few people seek out religion by challenging themselves and the various options before coming to a decision.  They accept the religion handed to them by their parents, or find acceptance in a group that happens to be a church.  But then they don’t challenge themselves or their beliefs leaving themselve, I believe, weaker for the lack of effort.  It means we don’t have to think for ourselves, something mankind has been good at.

But the point is simple: if you don’t believe in what you say or feel strongly enough to be challenged for it, then stop spouting it in public and then running away when someone calls you on it.  Keep your weak beliefs to yourself and stop trying to force others to believe as you do.  It’s not a strong enough argument.

Posted in Gay, Freedom, Politics | 1 Comment »

7. January 2008 by admin.

It is interesting.  How can you rant where you are happy?  It is interesting how our lives tend to take us in directions we are not quite prepared for but I have to say that I have found a level of bliss that I have not known before.  My honey is a wonderful man and while we do have our differences, things are going along so well that thos differences seem more spice than obstacle.  I am loving it.  But I do intend on maintaining this site (if nothing but to keep the name of it) so there may be occasional posts when the mood strikes.  And I have a feeling it shall, soon.  After all, when politics hits the fan, there’s a lot of shit spreading across the country.

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9. October 2007 by Rob.

Ok, I have been quiet about him since he first came into the light (and out of the closet, sort of) but now he’s gone and made comments that just got to me. So I have to ask the first question that came to my mind when I heard him talking about having a “wide stance” in the bathroom. Um, Larry, weren’t you wearing pants when you were in the stall? And when you were wearing those pants in the stall, weren’t you doing your “business” (I heard you say that’s why you were in there) and if so, wouldn’t your pants have been somewhere down between your knees and ankles?

If you were, in fact, in the stall trying to “cleanse the colon,” how wide a stance could you possibly have had? I mean, you’re not that fat, so your pants should have been restricting the “travel” of your legs to a reasonable distance. So you either had your pants at your knees and looked like a strange travois with your feet splayed apart or you weren’t wearing your pants in which case I would have to assume that you really were not in the stall for digestive waste removal. I mean, really!

Posted in Gay, Freedom, Politics | 2 Comments »