A wider stance

9. October 2007 by Rob.

Ok, I have been quiet about him since he first came into the light (and out of the closet, sort of) but now he’s gone and made comments that just got to me. So I have to ask the first question that came to my mind when I heard him talking about having a “wide stance” in the bathroom. Um, Larry, weren’t you wearing pants when you were in the stall? And when you were wearing those pants in the stall, weren’t you doing your “business” (I heard you say that’s why you were in there) and if so, wouldn’t your pants have been somewhere down between your knees and ankles?

If you were, in fact, in the stall trying to “cleanse the colon,” how wide a stance could you possibly have had? I mean, you’re not that fat, so your pants should have been restricting the “travel” of your legs to a reasonable distance. So you either had your pants at your knees and looked like a strange travois with your feet splayed apart or you weren’t wearing your pants in which case I would have to assume that you really were not in the stall for digestive waste removal. I mean, really!

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